Lillian had her first day of 3rd grade yesterday.ย It was such a magical day.ย As I watched her run into school without even looking back (as she does every day) my mind raced with excitement of all the possibilities that await her. ย All the dreams and hopes and big ideas that sheโll go after.ย And how at each step of the way, Iโll be cheering her on.
And it got me thinking, maybe I need to do the same for myself.
I talk with Lillian a lot about how she can do or be anything she wants.ย Maybe itโs because sheโs my only girl. And while I feel the same for my boys, I feel an extra call of duty to reinforce this idea with Lillian (any other girl mommas out there feel the same?).
I say to her; you can be anything you want. ย But in reality, my words only go so far.ย I need to show her.ย Lead by example.ย And as I reflect back today, if Iโm really truthful, I donโt know that Iโve always lived up to my advice. ย ย
For the past 10 years, Iโve been a stay-at-home-mom, and while I have no regrets about the past decade and would do it all again, I know deep down there is something more I still want.
And Iโm beginning to realize Iโm not alone.ย There are so many women out there, just like me. Women who want to go for a new job, quit a job, write a book, start a business, have a baby.ย You name it.ย But weโre living somewhere in this โstuck phaseโ. ย A paralyzing grey area. ย ย Content (enough) in the current role weโre in, but deep down carrying around a dream or passion or idea that weโve always kept quiet.ย A dream weโve actually never shed light on or even said aloud.
We see other women going after what they want and we silently think to ourselves, good for you.ย But thatโs not for me.ย I couldnโt.ย And we immediately rattle off in our minds all the reasons why.ย Time, kids, money, lack of talent, fear, failure, and the list goes on.
But itโs dawning on me lately that those women who I SEE going full steam ahead are NO DIFFERENT THAN ME. ย They have the same barriers.ย The same doubts. The same fears. But they did it ANYWAY.
So, Iโm asking myself this question today โ why not ME?ย Why not me to start that business.ย Go for the job.ย Quit the job.ย Run the race. ย Pitch the proposal. ย Why not ME?
I see Lillian with all her youthful confidence and Iโm almost envious.ย ย I asked her recently what she wanted to do when she grew up so she said; be a pop star, of course.ย And when I pushed her a little further about a back-up plan (you know, โjust in caseโ;) she immediately responded with; donโt worry mom, if Iโm not the best singer, Iโll just lip-sync.ย Ok then. Seems like a foolproof plan to me.ย My job here is done.ย
My point is, she didnโtโ say to herself; who am I to be a singer?ย She just sings. Regardless of whether she believes she has the vocal talent or not, her plan (and even her back-up plan) is based on sheer faith, confidence, and passion.ย She loves to sing โ so a singer sheโll be.ย ย ย
Chances are she may not be the next Taylor Swift.ย But the truth is, it doesnโt matter.ย She doesnโt have to be.ย What matters is that she learns what it feels like to go after her dreams, full force, without hesitation.ย Without questioning her worth.ย Without second-guessing herself before sheโs even begun.
I recently read a Harvard Business Review which quoted that men apply for jobs when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, but women only apply if they meet 100% of them.ย 100% percent.ย Just let that sink in for a second.
When in Godโs green earth are ANY of us ever 100% ready, FOR ANYTHING, man or woman.
And if that young college boy, husband, father, you name it, can go after a job or opportunity, when letโs face it, heโs only just slightly more than HALF qualified.ย Then, Lillian, you go be Taylor Swift, my love.ย Sing your heart out.
If I waited until I was 100% sure, or qualified, or confident, or ready for ANYTHING in my life, I think Iโd still be sitting on my parents’ couch.
Half of the success, and letโs face it, probably half of the qualification needed for anything, is just the decision to go out and DO IT!ย
Iโve spent years watching other women go for it.ย And I mean really go for it.ย Start companies.ย Leave companies.ย Go for the promotion.ย Go for the baby.ย Write the book. Go after their dreams, full steam ahead.ย And Iโve sat in the shadows and sidelines of all of them thinking; good for you.ย Cheering them on 100%, all while deep down simultaneously thinking, but thatโs not me.
That. Stops. Now.
No more excuses about time and motherhood and money and family and sleep and school pick-up.ย That all stops. Today.
And ladies, whether youโre a young mom, a college student, successful businesswomen, whatever, Iโm asking you to come with me.ย To start today.
Why not me?ย Why not YOU!!ย ย Start the company.ย Share your idea.ย Tell your spouse or significant other about that one crazy idea youโve had.ย Let it breathe a little life.ย Run the marathon.ย Lose the weight.ย Write the book. Quit the job.ย Have the baby.ย Whatever.ย Just go and (I canโt believe Iโm actually writing thisโฆ.) just do it!ย
60%.ย Thatโs all, friends.ย 60%.ย And I know every single one of you reading this is a whole heck of a lot more qualified than 60%.
I want my daughter, and all our girls, to see us reaching big.ย Not just dreaming big, but going big.ย To see us stop censoring ourselves or playing smaller than we really are.ย To stop feeling guilt or pressure or responsibilities that we donโt need to feel.ย Weโve carried that extra layer of guilt and worry around for far too long.ย
You and I are NEVER going to be 100% ready or qualified or sure of ANYTHING, ever.ย We need to stop waiting for 100%.
When my first child was born over 10 years ago and I became a stay-at-home-mom, I knew I wasnโt ready.ย I had no idea what I was doing.ย 60% qualified would have been a dream.ย But Iโm pretty sure I killed it this past decade.ย Those four little people are all the proof I need to know that this momma did well.ย So if I can do that โ Iโm pretty darn sure Iโm more than qualified for this next chapter.ย And my friends, you need to hear this today, so are you.ย
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