What’s Actually Helping Me Feel My Best at 46

This summer, I had the privilege of taking some time off from my responsibilities and focusing on just me and my family. It was the first time in a long time where I could truly slow down, reconnect with my family, and actually prioritize my health and well-being—something I didn’t even realize I’d been putting on the back burner.

I’ve always considered myself a fairly healthy person. But looking back over the past year, I can see the cracks. Restless nights. Anxiety creeping in more than I’d like. Looking in the mirror and not quite recognizing the woman staring back. My body felt heavier. My clothes fit tighter. None of it felt extreme on its own—but together? It added up to me feeling like a dulled-down version of myself.

And I know I’m not alone in this. Midlife has a way of waking us up.

This summer gave me the gift of slowing down and starting fresh. I’m ending it feeling stronger, clearer, and more grounded than I’ve felt in years. My body feels energized, my heart feels open, and for the first time in a long while, I feel at peace.

Some of this has come from long-standing practices – like sobriety and meditation. Others are brand new to me (hello, NAD). I’m not sharing any of this as a prescription. Rather, I just want to plant a seed – that if you’re not feeling great in your skin right now, you’re not broken, you’re definitely not alone, and that it is possible to feel good again.

Here’s what’s actually helping me feel my best (physically and emotionally) at 46:

Tuned out wellness culture

All of it. The online wellness influencers, the weighted vest walking, and protein eating accounts. Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with any of those things – but they weren’t helping me. I didn’t need more things to do; if anything, I needed less. There is so much noise out there regarding our health and wellness, and to be honest, I think it’s only making things worse.

Stopped keeping track of the numbers

All of them. The steps. The calories. The lab panels. The scale. The protein. None of it made me feel more in tune with my body —only more obsessed. We are living in a time of information overload. And while it can be beneficial to us, I also think it’s creating a culture of obsession that’s making us sick. We are so hyperfixated on ourselves, our numbers, our progress – that we’ve forgotten to pick our heads up out of our a#@…I mean apps/trackers/phones and see the big picture. We’re missing life staring at screens and numbers – when our body already knows what it needs.

Stayed Sober

I can’t overstate enough how much sobriety has changed my life, in ways I couldn’t have imagined. I’ve talked about my journey into sobreity at length on the podcast (here), as well as written about it (here) several times, so I won’t go into detail about why/how sobreity has changed my life, but what I will say is that besides starting a meditation practice and having my kids – it’s the best decision and gift I’ve ever given myself. Sobriety is not about depriving yourself of something, but instead about adding to your life.

Kept meditating, even on days I didn’t want to

I know, I get it. I’m a broken record. But I can’t stress enough how meditation (and sobriety) is my superpower – and can be yours, too. I’ve had a daily meditation practice for about 5 years. Before then, I just dabbled. I’d commit to it for a few months during a yoga teacher training or something like that – but it never “really” stuck. Until COVID and everything changed. It’s the reason I became sober, the reason we moved to California, why I started an online business, changed my marriage, and most importantly, changed my relationship with myself. But it doesn’t mean it’s easy. There are many times I struggle or feel resistance. Days I don’t want to sit, or say “fuck it, I did it yesterday.” I know how hard it is to start (and stay committed), so you are not alone if you’re thinking you’re just “bad” at it or feeling the resistance. Welcome to the club, kid. If you’re curious about starting your own home practice, start here.

Prioritized Sleep

Very few things in this world make me happier than crawling into bed (is that so sad…lol). Not because I want to deprive myself of a relaxing night of watching Netflix or a night out, but rather because I’m genuinely so excited about waking up with the sun and making the most of my mornings. I live to see the sunrise. To have a moment of quiet before my kids wake up. To relax with a warm cup of tea. I genuinely love all of those things – but they don’t happen when I go to bed late. So as boring as I may seem to the outside world, I’m an in-bed-by-9 kinda gal. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Got off my phone and back into the world

This was a really big one for me this summer. Probably my biggest. I deleted Instagram (and really all social media apps) off my phone for 2 months (almost 3), and I can’t tell you how freeing it felt. I didn’t realize how much time I had been spending (wasting) staring at a screen watching other people’s lives – instead of being out there living mine. It drained me in so many ways.

I’m now back on IG (for now) but with really strict boundaries. I set a 30-minute time limit on social media, and it feels really good. I have one wild and precious life – I don’t want to spend it scrolling IG.

I started NAD (I Know, I Rolled My Eyes Too)

I resisted this one. And honestly, debated even sharing. I am NOT into biohacking, and this felt way too “wellness culture” for me. But here we are.

My doctor has been mentioning NAD to me for a while for my back, and I’ve resisted for all the reasons I’ve listed above. But I’m also trying not to throw the baby out with the bath water (or whatever that phrase is). So I said yes. And guys, I kinda love it. I take a very small dose (with a syringe) 3 times a week.

I feel a definite change in my energy, in my body composition, in my anxiety. All of it. My back is hurting me less and less. I noticed within the first few days that I could sit on my stairs, bend over, and tie my shoes without any pain (which was not happening before). Who knows if it’s the NAD, or a combo of everything – but it has me intrigued.

There is a lot of mixed data about NAD, especially around IVs. So please do your own research, talk to your doctor (not someone on the internet…including me), and decide if it’s right for you. As much as I’m not into “wellness culture” or biohacking, there are things that can improve our lives – and for me, this was one of them. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll take this, but for the past few months, it’s definitely helped me get back into shape, running, lifting, swimming (bend over and tie my shoes..lol), all the things. And for that, I’m really grateful.

Added in play, creativity, and got into nature

I started pottery and open water swimming (both so hard and humbling), went paddleboarding, and hiked up mountains. I started using my body to do things I wanted – instead of moving my body to shape it. I moved my body to experience things. I started walking every (well..almost every) sunrise and sunset – not to get in steps, but to actually see the sunset and be in nature. I filled my days not with workouts and tracking steps – but with activities I was genuinely curious about, excited to try, and that got me outside.

Got back into therapy

I started therapy back in June. Every Tuesday at 8 am. And it’s been eye-opening. Tender. And so so good for me. I’m not quite at a point where I want to share more, other than it feels really good to have someone see blind spots for you and hold up a mirror. It’s helped me see things that have been looming just under the surface for me, and I feel a new sense of lightness and freedom these days.

Treating myself like I’m the most important thing in the world

Because I am. And so are you. And so is J, and my kids, and the rest of my family. We ALL are the most important person in our stories. And yet, we so often forget to be kind to ourselves. To give ourselves our own empathy, compassion, and love.

I’ve always had the gift of being able to see other people’s tender spots – where they were feeling hurt or unseen and had a way of helping to bring that to the surface. I can hold a lot of empathy, compassion, and love for other people. But on the flip side, I’ve struggled to do the same for myself. I’ve struggled to ever feel like I was truly loved, that I was enough, or that I could rest. I think for a long time I’ve pushed myself, tried to prove to myself that I had “made it”. That I could rest, or earn someone’s love, when I was finally “there” (whatever “there” meant – a job, a weight, an income). I can’t say I’m there yet – a work in progress for sure – but I can say is that I really like my own company. I like who I am. I feel proud and happy when I look in the mirror or lay my head on the pillow – and that feels really darn good.

I know that was a lot (10 may have been too many, ha). But the truth is, it’s never one thing that either makes us feel well and good, but rather a million little choices we make throughout the day. We know this. It’s everything from the food we eat to the news we watch, the phone we either pick up as soon as we wake, or the meditation bolster we sit on instead. It’s the way we speak to ourselves, the way we move our bodies, and the people we spend time with. It’s the grass or sand we get our feet in, or the couch we sit on. It all adds up. All of it. And no one person can tell you what is/isn’t going to make you feel your best. Only you know that.

And for all the women reading this not feeling their best right now – I promise you, nothing is permanent. You will find your own balance and what works for you. You are designed to feel well and good – it will happen. But until then, standing beside you. xoxo