This past Thursday JonPaul and I made the decision to start “social distancing” ourselves and our kids. Not necessarily out of fear of the virus itself, but rather out of greater concern for all those around us. Recognizing that our small part of this story is to stay home. Understanding that if as many of us did that as possible, we could flatten the curve. We may not be the ones at the front line of this virus, helping to find a cure or caring for the sick, but our role is just as important. I believe we all have a role in this, and ours is to stay home.

With that being said, the uncertainly of this unprecedented time at home has me, and my whole family, feeling more uneasy than ever before. At times, almost frozen with indecisiveness about what we should be doing. What our days should look like? How will we manage? How will the kids hold up after day 7, day 21, day 60?

There are so many questions, and at times, my mind doesn’t stop. Read More

Last week I stepped out of my comfort zone and applied to be a speaker at a large, well respected, national conference. It takes place this fall in Brooklyn for mama entrepreneurs.  A total dream for me.  Brooklyn, working mamas, connection, women empowerment.  Uhm, yes, please. The perfect package.

This conference would be my first-time public speaking at a national platform like this, and kind of gutsy of me for even applying.  I mean, I don’t know who I thought I was. 

But as I wrote out my pitch, the more I wrote it, the more I believed every word.  And not just the story or my idea  – but even more, I totally believed in me.  Like I  could really do this.  And do it well. I actually thought I’d kind of kill it.  It felt so natural. Like maybe this is what I’ve been working for.

This is what I was called to do.  To share this story, with these women, on this stage. 

I pitched an idea I’m really passionate about.  It was a really good idea.  No, a great idea. I could feel it as I was writing it.  This is what every working mama needed to hear.  I could picture myself up on that stage.  What I’d wear and how I’d present.  I could picture the whole thing.   It was gonna be great.  I could feel it.     Read More

I can remember back to a phase right after college where it seemed like everyone was getting engaged, planning weddings and having babies.  It was a phase of life filled with joy and excitement and possibilities.  A whole new life just beginning for so many of us.

Fast forward to over a decade later and we’re now entering a new phase.  One filled with more heartache than I expected. Friends who are struggling, marriages that are ending.  Relationships going in separate ways.  

And all of a sudden, in the midst of our imperfect marriage, I feel like maybe JonPaul and I are one of the lucky ones.

Maybe somehow despite the chaos of moves and babies and career changes and just life – somehow we made it out the other side.  Somehow we’re holding on.  Our love story still lives on.  

And it’s not because our marriage is perfect by any means.  In many ways, it’s the complete opposite.  But rather because at some point, our marriage changed.  

When JP and I were first dating, and first married, our relationship felt like a fairytale.  He waiting patiently for me after work with flowers laying on the front seat of his car.   Sweet love letters in the mail for no reason.  Showing up unexpectedly on business trips just to say “hello”.  It was the kind of love and courtship I had always envisioned.  Sweet and exciting and filled with butterflies.

And then somehow, all of that changed.  Little by little, baby after baby, little bits of (what I thought was) the fairytale relationship fell apart.   The “perfect” marriage didn’t feel quite as perfect. 

About seven years into our marriage we hit a rough patch.  It was a bad combination of kids and work and life and not knowing how to make the other priority.  I remember wondering for the first time if we’d make it. We were lost.  Read More